Do You Shy Away From Networking?

Got the "networking blues"?  Tired of my blog posts about networking?  Don't answer that.  Sometimes it does take effort to get out and socialize for business.  Yes, even I have my "I want to be alone moments."

As a career coach and mentor, I really should set a "networking" example, right?  Sometimes I get lazy to go to yet another event, take a referral out to coffee, participate in a workshop, etc.  But hey, I'm not perfect.  If occasional laziness is not your particular problem, but shyness is, you might want to look at some networking pointers to get you going:

How To Overcome Networking Discomfort

• Practice - the more often you network, the easier and more natural it will become 
• Start small - go to an event where you may know people so it won't feel as intimidating
• Go with a friend but don't be stuck like glue the entire time
• Join an organization of interest - it will feel more organic engaging with people you have something in common with
• Approach networking with a positive attitude - networking is an opportunity to learn about another person and how you can help them.  It's not a test of how likable you are.
• Know your self worth - feel confident to discuss what you do (your elevator pitch) with ease

Oh, and don't forget to have fun!  People can be fascinating!

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

~ Walter Bagehot

"Good Night, And Good Luck"

Laura Rivchun

How To Feel Comfortable Networking

The other night I held a meeting about networking for the NYC Chapter of The National Association of Professional Women (NAPW).  As the Director of the Mentorship Committee, I get to select the topic for our monthly meetings.  When I  invited the members to a meeting entitled, "How To Take The Work Out of Networking", I received an overwhelming response.  Not surprising.  It seems everyone wants to become more skilled and feel more comfortable networking.  So many people are shy or feel awkward about it and it feels like an overwhelming task.

The meeting was a tremendous success.  Rather than have 20 women go around the room and introduce themselves and what they do, I asked them to bring their favorite T-Shirt, hat or any object of significance they could share with the group. And share they did.  It was the perfect ice breaker.  Most people like talking about themselves in a more natural setting and this was the perfect opportunity.  It's amazing how people will open up when they feel comfortable.  

After the introductions, I asked the group if they knew what we had been doing in the last hour.  Everyone looked at each other and asked, "have we been networking?"  Everyone was so engaged in each other's story, no one realized that we were actually networking.  That's exactly what I was hoping would happen.  I wanted the group to recognize that there is no mystery in networking.   The act of networking is about having a conversation and being engaged by listening and asking questions.  Networking is a two way street.  I talk, you listen.   You talk and I listen.  Amazing, right?

If you want to network but don't want it to feel like "work", look at it as having a conversation and opportunity to get to know another person.  You just might enjoy it.  The women at my meeting apparently did.  I couldn't get them to stop talking!

"The way of the world is meeting people through other people."
~ Robert Kerrigan


"Good Night, And Good Luck"

Laura Rivchun

How To Get Better At Networking

I know.  You're getting really tired hearing about all this "networking" stuff.  Network, network, network.  Blah, blah, blah.  Everyone seems to be the expert on this subject (including me) and yet so many people still just don't "get it."  No worries, you're not alone.  So many people rather go to the dentist than go to a business networking event.  Why is this?

For some social blabbermouths like me, networking isn't quite the same awkward experience it is for others.  But I believe even the shyest of people can get better at networking.  The more you do it, the easier ANYTHING gets.  So if you think you can improve on your networking skills, the most obvious is to go out and practice your networking.  JUST DO IT!  Here are some pointers on some traits of a good networker.

A Good Networker:

• Communicates what they do and what they want with clarity
• Uses every opportunity to meet new people (grows their network)
• Sees opportunity to grow their network in the least likely places
• Takes risks
• Is open minded
• Steps out of their comfort zone
• Doesn't apologize if asking for help (it might be perceived as unworthiness)
• Doesn't make assumptions.  Never assume a person doesn't want or can't help you
• Is a good listener - good networking requires you engage another person
• Builds a relationship of reciprocity

Stay tuned for more on networking.  Blah, blah blah......

"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be."

~ Fanny Brice

"Good Night, And Good Luck"

Laura Rivchun

What Is Good Networking?

I seem to write a lot about networking these days.  It's become my mantra.  You know why?  I believe 120% that networking is the best way to build your career or business (and self esteem).

The dictionary's definition of networking is, "a supportive system of sharing information and services among individuals and groups having a common interest".  Another definition is, "to socialize for professional or personal gain".  I like my definition best, "networking is simply talking to people”.  

Keith Ferrazzi (business coach/author of Never Eat Alone) says “networking is about building sincere relationships based on mutual generosity, not duplicity, and that one can’t achieve career goals on their own.   One has to network their way to success.”  I think Keith Ferrazzi and I share the same mantra.

So, what makes a good networker?  For starters, ask how you can help someone out – even if they can’t help you.  Reciprocity is key and goes a long way – people are more likely to remember you if you are genuine in your effort to be helpful.   If you take the work out of networking, it can be a lot of fun.  You just might meet your next best friend, business partner or soul mate.  

This is the first of a series of posts I will be doing on "networking".  Remember, it's my mantra and soon to be yours!

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."

~ Jane Howard quote

"Good Night, And Good Luck"

Laura Rivchun

Need Help With Your Career?

Asking for help is not always easy.  We like to think we can do everything on our own.  I'm one of those people.  Maybe it's a fear of losing control or feeling beholden to another person.   It seems to be easier to give help than get help.  i guess that's why I enjoy my work coaching and consulting individuals.  So why is it so hard to get help in return?  Hmmm...

 I've worked with so many people who don't know how to reach out to someone who might be in a position to help them.  People are flattered to be asked and the more professional a person is, the more they are inclined to lend a helping hand.  So, don't be afraid to ask for that referral, reference, exploratory interview or informational lunch.  It feels great to be confident enough to ask and even better to exchange the favor.

"Everyone needs help from everyone."

~ Bertolt Brecht

"Good Night, And Good Luck"

Laura Rivchun

Do You Expect Yourself To Be Perfect?

"I am not perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well.  I feel an endless need to learn, to improve, and to evolve.  Not only to please other people, but also to feel satisfied with myself.  It is my conviction there are no limits to learning and that it can never stop, no matter what our age".

I'd like to say I wrote this quote on perfectionism, but that wouldn't be the truth.  These words ring true for me so I was compelled to share them.  I knew I wanted to write a post on perfectionism after having a heartfelt conversation with my sister but it took me so long to put the words on paper I found myself doing the very thing I wanted to write about!

  All of us get caught up with the need to be perfect,  especially in our work.  I believe we end up doing ourselves damage and often miss the moment.  I think it's commendable to push ourselves and set high goals but I think perfectionism is one of those elusive things in life.  Maybe I'm wrong.  But when I try to be "perfect", I wind up driving myself and everyone around me crazy.

When it comes to our work, it's important to challenge ourselves and do our very best.  That's all anyone (including your boss) can ask.

"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor".

Anne Lamott

"Good Night, And Good Luck"

Laura Rivchun